I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore! Every time I turn on a video game, it’s shoved into my face: hulking meat-heads with sweat running down their chiseled abs, sticking their huge, massive guns anywhere they want to. I am disgusted at the way men are portrayed in video games.
Today we’ll be exposing male stereotypes in video games, revealing how developers tend to spend more time on female characters than male ones, and demanding a stop to the international objectification of men. We’ll begin with my favorite company, the savior of video games, Blizzard Entertainment.
As you can see, World of Warcraft’s female human model is delicately crafted by the master artisans of Trabia’s Shumi Tribe. It’s clear that the graphics artists spent a lot of time on it to make it look good.
Oh my god! My eyes! I don’t think my sphincter will ever detract again! Is this a screenshot of A Machine for Pigs?! —I’m canceling this editorial! I can’t go on, not after seeing this!!
How the hell did this get out the door? I can hear the World of Warcraft director right now: “Uh, yeah, that looks good, I guess. It looks somewhat alive. Print it. The female version isn’t this bad, right? Hey, I’m gonna go sacrifice a goat in preparation for the summoning of Diablo 3 in a couple years, so you guys just do whatever. BRB.”
Blizzard isn’t the only company who is desperate to spread their misandry. EA, Activision, Mojang—they all seem intent on stuffing the stereotypical American hero down our throats: shaved heads, protruding muscles, bursting packages, bulging pecs, and tree trunk arms to hold you gently and yet so securely while you’re playing Silent Hill. You’re going to need someone there to dry your tears when you see what they’ve done to that wonderful series.
These companies, with their pro-military and pro-muscle training agenda, want you to believe that every man is a buff, brainless war hero. This may shock you, but this is simply not the case. Meek and out-of-shape men like myself exist all over the world, hiding away from a culture that expects all men to be strong and brave. I, for one, am sick of it. Tomorrow, I am going to Wal Mart in a huge pink Cinderella dress, and that’s that.
But looks aren’t everything. While women in video games are always depicted in a gorgeous variety of lights, there’s also substance to their character—a substance that is almost always missing in their male counterparts.
If you too are sick and tired of being assaulted by an industry that presents men as if they are nothing more than slabs of meat to be exploited, then please donate to my Kickstarter project: